To be productive one must first achieve a mental state where his or her focus is singularly zoomed in on a particular task. We have all experienced being “in the zone." It is where we have an uninterrupted flow of clarity, prodigious investigative prowess and boundless energy. While in the zone we are able to solve problems, there is no conflict and all is well in our world. The Hawrang warriors of Korea called this hwajaeng 和諍), it is the state of harmonizing all disputes.
There are many triggers which can rob us of focus and protract progress or even derail us from our course entirely. John arrived early to the office and is presently engrossed twenty minutes into writing an article for the company blog. Suddenly his colleague Miss Nimbus enters the office lobby just outside his door.
“Oh my God, really are you serious, Give me a break, what is wrong with you people” She yells
Concerned over all the commotion John asks; “Hey what’s going on Nimbus?”
“Nobody emptied the shavings from the pencil sharpener. Am I expected to do everything around here I'm not being paid enough for what I do around here.”
Pouting Miss Nimbus storms from the room. You have just experienced Nimbus acting out. Her feelings were obviously negative. But her feelings are not what caused a disturbance in the work place, feelings affect only her, but as soon as she began to verbalize her negative emotions: John and others are affected. This is because emotions are energized feelings that are carelessly unleashed. And emotions are energized by nonverbal cues just as well. Body language emits its own energy. One’s energy can either be positive and contagious which ismotivational and fosters productivity or it can be negative and absorbent. In the face of such negativity one can actually feel their vitality and life-force being pulled into the vacuum.
“Most of us may not even have thought about this, but the roots for motion and emotion are virtually identical,” Abigail Brenner MD says.
Think of (e)motion as “Energy in Motion”
Now think about how this fictional event would likely effect your morning. I find it rather difficult to refocus once I am distracted by what I consider petty disregard for the value of my time. How are you with that situation? We all have worked with people who disassociate from civil behavior. Some of us are certainly better at letting things roll from our shoulders than others. I admire people who are better at it keeping composure than I am. However I usually try to ignore that kind of behavior telling myself, “well that is just the way she is, or she really can’t help it”. I can try to be accepting and sometimes this seems to work temporarily. However deep down I do not really believe that people lack control over their actions and my empathy for such a person lessons over time. I may start out with some patience but soon resentment begins to build.
Julian Treasure the author of Seven Deadly Sins of Speaking refers to “Complaining” as a kind of pathogenic “virus” one which is transmitted audibly, causing the main symptom of this disease: misery. I like this depiction of the problem because it seems to accurately describe the process of the virus rather than to stigmatize the suffering parties. The inference is that such behavior can be avoided or controlled. But that may be an oversimplification. One’s will power alone might not be sufficient to overcome a chronic virus that does not burn itself out. One might try changing the environment to remove triggers which aggravate the condition. But that won’t cure the problem. With a Chronic Complainer, even the most seemingly innocuous situation can predicate an adverse reaction.
John is back at the office and there is leftover German Chocolate cake in the refrigerator from Pam’s (company’s finance/accountant department manager) office party where staff celebrated her birthday. John decides that a sugar high will help him to get his day started and he consumes the last piece of cake.
Twenty minutes pass-by and John is now updating his CRM with a progress report of pending projects that he's been managing. He is on the verge of framing what seems to be an important and relevant new idea.
“It was you, I haven’t even had a single piece of cake and you ate the last damn piece. Thanks” but the actual words of Miss Nimbus sting less than the scowl on her continence. That cake was obviously very important to her, or maybe she feels that she is unimportant to you. “Good Grief how can I focus with such distractions”.
But John is able to put it out of my mind and get back to work. Ten minutes later:
John has his flow back when he hears an outburst;
“You left the light on in the restroom again” the door slams shut
Oh damn, she is right I forgot the light. I have forgotten that twice this last week, we have those energy efficient bulbs but still that has got to be at least .0125 Kilowatt/hours and costs do accumulate over time, I need to be more efficient. Now where was I? John is now growing irritated and struggles to regain his monoidealism.
“Do you have those expense reports done yet, you are always late with that” The remarks are not welcome and yet another interruption to John's productivity.
“No actually I don’t believe I have ever actually missed a deadline but thanks for the reminders I still have two weeks before they are due and you are not actually my boss remember? Now could you please let me get back to my work? “
“Oh so it’s me, you’re the one who doesn't get things done on time but it is my fault right” Miss Nimbus then storms out of the room slamming the door shut.”
Forty five minutes pass and Miss Nimbus is back at John's door:
“I’m sorry I slammed the door earlier I was just upset because the rose bush is not blooming this year, I have my period you know and there are no anchovies for the frozen pizza I have planned for dinner.” She rationalizes her behavior and has an excuse for every misdeed.
It would actually be funny if Miss Nimbus weren't dead serious and these incidents were not mundane occurrences. But she is serious and something similar does happen every single day.
“Look do you mind looking over this content for the McMurphy Account?”
“Well sure, do you have it on a flash drive”?
“Yes I just want you to approve it before I turn it over”
“I get it, let’s have it”
The content Miss Nimbus wrote is good, but it can be improved.
So John provides solicited feedback.
“Here is what I think” We need more evidence to support item e and Item r should probably be coupled with j since they share a common objective.”
“Yeah but I put e, r and j in that order because I feel that a cosmic disaster might occur if they are ordered in any other way” Just because she asked for John's opinion doesn't mean she really wants to hear it.
“I don’t get it, did you want my input on this or not? If not fine I told you what I think, you should ultimately do what you think is best”
Then Miss Nimbus does take John;s direction but not because she has thought it over and agrees with John, rather if the project doesn't work out it in her mind will be his fault. If the initiative does well no one will take credit, Sadly Miss Nimbus thinks too little of herself to accept any kind of praise. Such modesty would actually be attractive if she wasn't so insecure. And Miss Nimbus she has an IQ well over 140, so there is nothing for her to rationally feel insecure about.
“Well you know I have so many things going on right now there is the green stone which needs to be delivered to Joe on Wednesday, And I plan to roast a chestnut on Thursday. Sigh, we need napkins for the break room. I have that project for Tim and we are still working on finalizing the marketing plan for next period. It is too much, (emphasis) really” Miss Nimbus exasperates brooding about everything.
“Well you just have to do the one day at a time thing, manage your time and prioritize. Take a breath there is no life or death situation. You just need to be effective. Let today's worry be sufficient, tomorrow will take care of itself.”
John is now privately thinking about the fact that there are fewer fires to put out between all of his other coworkers combined in the history of his career than he deals with in a single week working with Miss Nimbus. But she is very skilled and valued for her skill set, but it is such a chore anytime Yet anytime John must ask her to do some task, no matter how minor or great, the result is a consistent deep sigh, eyes that turn to disgust, gnashing of teeth, wringing her arms in the air, or pounding her fists against her thigh. The fallout is so negative, everything is related as such a burden to her and she unloads vehemently when asked for assistance. Her body language seems to indicate that she would rather set herself on fire than be there in the room with john. The problem has escalated to such severity that John has developed a tendency to avoid conflict. He has become codependent and weakened his self esteem leaving this problem unresolved.
When asked by his own admission he said:
"To protect my own sanity I allow those matters to remain unresolved. I fear that I have become impotent and ineffective in collaboration of our shared work."
So John has learned to focus by blocking the abuse out and reinventing his serenity to refocus again and again.
“Good news everyone we can celebrate, we landed the Luan Chow project, and we weren’t even the lowest bid! I am taking everyone out for lunch on me”
Miss Nimbus sighs when she learns that she has been invited to lunch. "I am completely at a loss for understanding. The situation seriously depresses me; I mean I am now actually taking medication to deal with it." Miss Nimbus is an equal opportunity dispensary of gloom. Even when the occasion calls for celebration and everyone is happy she without fail finds a reason to be dissatisfied. It is as if the rest of the world is functioning on a different rpm. Like most of humanity are three phase electrical and she is single phase.
"I find very few occasions where any kind of serenity can be sustained for more than an hour at best."
“I just found out that our investment with TDM stock has tanked. Every indicator suggested that this was a great opportunity, We implemented all of the proper risk assessing tools and obtained credible counsel but there was a billionaire from Russia who defected and invested his ten billion dollar fortune into our competitor’s company. The entire market literally changed overnight and our position was decimated. I am so sorry everyone”
Miss Nimbus puckers her mouth and responds
“Well, you are supposed to be the business expert. “
For Miss Nimbus, assigning blame is honed to a science. There is no thought of empathy. No care to protect the “us”. There is no thought of the team; there is only her desire and her worldview.
To focus when Miss Nimbus is around is like trying to fly a kite in a hurricane. It might take off, but there is going to be a crash at some point.
The only way to focus on work for John is to accept the unacceptable. "I have no power to terminate her, and I cannot resign. I accept the thing which I cannot change and do the best with what there is. It means to simplify life and find stimulation at my own endeavors, to raise the level of communication in the workplace even when it is hard. I am not powerless of control; I can set some boundaries to protect myself. I can distance my own feelings about the experiences I have with Miss Nimbus and concentrate on positive intentions. At least I can do my thing in intervals however short they might be, and when interrupted I can learn to be more patient, to be more understanding, to be less reactive and cynical, to be more kind and gentle and accepting. Then when the dark cloud passes over I may return to my work for another iteration.
Does anyone relate to John? what mechanisms should be in place within a company culture to identify, help or root out troubled employees? What would you do in John's situation?
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